This is same.
Either I am denying the situation or I am unfolding the truth. It slowly gets hard.
the thing is.. beating yourself would be so damn hard. so, be tougher than ever.
I'm kind of tired at all, I mean of crying; of trying; of waiting; of expecting that everything will be right yesterday but the reality is not.
But this month, I got the lessons. People will not always go with their commandments, the one who have the "position" might be wobbly to stand on their own; for some reason.. they might try to take a little more benefits by degrading their principle. It was sad, but it happened to me for several times. And, it was reaaaaally hurt. For sure.
Even I got upset to several relatives who made it funny. Waiting for 5 weeks were being successfully made me loose 5.5 kg dude. Lucky you guys. Please, stop joking for this.
Now, I'm praying to take the grant as the substitution, maybe I would have any job earlier or easier. I believe that everything with hard works & patience would be more beautiful at the end.
Bye.
Since been so long not post anything, I'm going to publish something thru this personal —but publicly announced— page. Not a thesis defense's appreciation post because it still needs more patience to face a cruelly undescribable person.
That day was being one of memorandum which maybe will bring smiles a lil longer than ever. Decided to go to Semasa Market, one week before the event, yet since I am a person who love surprises we insisted to go to The Museum of Bank of Indonesia first, then moved to the first plan. Sadly, accompanied by my maag along the walking tour.
Experienced to the most joyful place of mine to meditate over anything that happened recently, took some goods, ate a scoop of ice cream, tasted bakeries, amazed by analog cams, learnt about history, had afternoon talks about what the future holds at the station. Def, this is what Honne says that "I never knew that this could feel so good". Here some pics.
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| young, dumb, and broke aka me |
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| favorito spot |
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| #howtobeamillionaire |
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| the crowd |
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| beauty of tummy |
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| got the sticker of the logo, damn cute |
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| the person who patiently get involved the tour |
Dear self, please stop making an excuse. Believe that somebody who are kind will find their way back.
What an end, should be an end.
Just in case you are forgetting how precious you are, remember that you have through those problems only by yourself.
We thought moments we have created are limitless, but the fact it aint
We thought the space we have made are meaningful, but the truth it aint
We talked deeply about anything, still we felt empty though
We thought a lot of things each day, yet we forgot how to keep ourselves —of expectations;
It killed.
- a.d. 2018