I'm kind of tired at all, I mean of crying; of trying; of waiting; of expecting that everything will be right yesterday but the reality is not.

But this month, I got the lessons. People will not always go with their commandments, the one who have the "position" might be wobbly to stand on their own; for some reason.. they might try to take a little more benefits by degrading their principle. It was sad, but it happened to me for several times. And, it was reaaaaally hurt. For sure.

Even I got upset to several relatives who made it funny. Waiting for 5 weeks were being successfully made me loose 5.5 kg dude. Lucky you guys. Please, stop joking for this.

Now, I'm praying to take the grant as the substitution, maybe I would have any job earlier or easier. I believe that everything with hard works & patience would be more beautiful at the end.

Bye.

Since been so long not post anything, I'm going to publish something thru this personal —but publicly announced— page. Not a thesis defense's appreciation post because it still needs more patience to face a cruelly undescribable person.

That day was being one of memorandum which maybe will bring smiles a lil longer than ever. Decided to go to Semasa Market, one week before the event, yet since I am a person who love surprises we insisted to go to The Museum of Bank of Indonesia first, then moved to the first plan. Sadly, accompanied by my maag along the walking tour.

Experienced to the most joyful place of mine to meditate over anything that happened recently, took some goods, ate a scoop of ice cream, tasted bakeries, amazed by analog cams, learnt about history, had afternoon talks about what the future holds at the station. Def, this is what Honne says that "I never knew that this could feel so good". Here some pics.

***

Mine is good as long as keep progressing on something. Ye you know lah what 'something' means. These few months become the hardest time of mine, ga jarang gue ngilang dari orang banyak.. God, it's good to be not surrounded by people. Gue nangis sejadi-jadinya sampe pusing terus tidur. Gatau faedahnya apa, but it really helped me to soothe my scrambled-thoughts-and-feelings. Sampai gue buka handphone terus ga ngerti gimana ceritanya ada post orang tentang surat Al-Insyirah.. gue jadi nangis makin kejer (sebenernya gue lagi puasa saat itu, tapi.. everything was overwhelming at that time. Semoga tetap diterima puasanya). Reckless banget, pas nyadar "Indeed, with hardship will be ease" that repeated twice. God slapped me with His sweetest way. Gue baca surat itu berkali-kali sampai ketiduran lagi. Seriously, it's a moment where all of the sadness turned away. Bangun-bangun shalat, mandi langsung normal lagi. Dan biasa, jadi "ih apasih fu lemah bener" ke diri sendiri. Sedih gitu tiap shalat atau tadarus kan baca surat itu, tapi ga pernah nyadar maksudnya yang super-duper dalam. wk.

Udah ya bye-bye. Ntaran mau nulis tentang ambil data, penelitian, my very first solo trip to an exhibition, bukber-bukber pas makalah dan skripsi udah final. Selamat ngejar gelar dan Lailatul Qadr!

“Cerita aja, setidaknya relieves stress”