***

Mine is good as long as keep progressing on something. Ye you know lah what 'something' means. These few months become the hardest time of mine, ga jarang gue ngilang dari orang banyak.. God, it's good to be not surrounded by people. Gue nangis sejadi-jadinya sampe pusing terus tidur. Gatau faedahnya apa, but it really helped me to soothe my scrambled-thoughts-and-feelings. Sampai gue buka handphone terus ga ngerti gimana ceritanya ada post orang tentang surat Al-Insyirah.. gue jadi nangis makin kejer (sebenernya gue lagi puasa saat itu, tapi.. everything was overwhelming at that time. Semoga tetap diterima puasanya). Reckless banget, pas nyadar "Indeed, with hardship will be ease" that repeated twice. God slapped me with His sweetest way. Gue baca surat itu berkali-kali sampai ketiduran lagi. Seriously, it's a moment where all of the sadness turned away. Bangun-bangun shalat, mandi langsung normal lagi. Dan biasa, jadi "ih apasih fu lemah bener" ke diri sendiri. Sedih gitu tiap shalat atau tadarus kan baca surat itu, tapi ga pernah nyadar maksudnya yang super-duper dalam. wk.

Udah ya bye-bye. Ntaran mau nulis tentang ambil data, penelitian, my very first solo trip to an exhibition, bukber-bukber pas makalah dan skripsi udah final. Selamat ngejar gelar dan Lailatul Qadr!

“Cerita aja, setidaknya relieves stress”

been a while not post anything, this will be my first post on 2018! cheers to the new year, new spirits, and new experiences to come!

I started 2018 by having a rough final exams. these were literally my final exams after struggling for 7 terms on my bachelor degree! had 10 subjects with 21 credits somehow made me stressful. really. 3 of them are practices with 1 credit only. cry. cry. cry. lucky me, for the first time there were no group sampis yang biasanya bikin gue nangis bombay tiap ngerjain tugasnya like on my previous terms. let said, groups of mine were my dream teams. ea. thanks guys for saving me!

I never imagine that I totally changed. totally. since the first day of college life, I easily adapted myself anywhere, yet they didn't know how messy I was, tried to fit in. for me, college life was surely challenging myself in all of forms and aspects. lot of things were supposed to tell me that I'm beyond tough and the capacity of mine could be expanded more. kalau bukan Pandawa, gue TPB sangat ringkih karena tiap bulan pasti sakit; Pandawa yang ngajarin kekuatan temen dan sugesti. kalau bukan Smansa, gue sampai sekarang kayaknya ga seambis ini jg deh (?). I'm sure. the willing of doing more than my limit were theirs. since the day 0 (even before matriculation started), I had lists which things I had to improve and leave. and now.. kinda sad but overly happy to finish my research as soon as possible!!!!!!!!!! [plz bgt ini mah gmn caranya supaya wa tida mager]

several days after exams, I had flied to Borneo again. reported my one year work was countless pleased. being VDP was one of my biggest learning. all of tears, struggles, sleepless nights, deep talks, thoughts, everything were kinda paid off well! believe me that I was beyond happy at that time, was going to tear but I almost had no heart to say so. intinya gue mati rasa, di hati tuh kayak sedih seneng campur aduk but could not express them. help. I did happy to see Kak Ay, Kanza, Aqil, Tambah again (even sadly there was no Kak Syug there) also Kak Anjela! it was like.. oh my God it was already a year that full of drama WKWK have been passed like sure?! there were no cyber meeting each week, tasks due to tight deadlines, KRL-an alone in a week fully which always ended up by laughing at myself and scolding "bego bgt sih fu" or "ha receh" or slapping me while seeing a lot of facts that dunia kejam. and then eating alone after several days (iya biasanya kalo lg hectic gitu gue bisa ga makan dan ga tidur berhari-hari, biasanya jg ya pas makan sendirian gue akan membuat catatan gue ngapain aja ya hari ini trs ngomong "harusnya lo bersyukur lebih banyak lagi" atau "mama lg ngapain ea gangguin ah" atau "dah lama nih ga foto pamer ke adik, pamer ah" atau "papa punya kerecehan apa lg ea" pokoknya a quality self-talk yg cucok abis!). thus, I learnt a lot to be more independent that sometimes make my friends kzl and yelled "lu kayak gapunya temen aja sih" then I replied "ya gue kan ga enak". gitu aja terus sampe gue nonton black panther (gatau kpn guys. sad.)

there were some things I would not ever forget while last Natcon. like.. evaluation result from CCNC (it was so wistful while Kak Ayida and Kak Anjela hugged me and wept for the last time before they left us and whispered to me some secrets, ga deng.), or discussion with Aqil, Tambah, Kanza yang udah oleng banget ga mandi but it's ok masih wangi and reminisced how geregetannya kita, and many more!

I'd like to warn Mila and Falki as my new partners too! semoga ya anda berdua tahan thdp stickers line ku yg variatif, curcolan aku dari pasangan hingga penelitian, meme qasidahan aku, and other go$$ips to come! nyam!

once again, thanks so damn much to all of parties that have trusted me since the very beginning! I was nothing and lack of ideas when I had to conduct a national scale event and board! helped me, hugged and lifted me up when I restlessly could not do all of these things, supported, been there and advised me what I should do, or even reminded me :p to NC qu; I don't even know what kind of thankful that I have to be praised to, I do believe that you guys will have a brightest path ahead!

these were glimpses of Natcon 2018! thank you ULM for being a well-prepared host!

ini gemes bgt ga sih fotonya?! wkwk

aku lg LPJ-an guys ngadegdeg but keep smiling seperti kata caesar YKS.

see how madesu we were! setelah ketiduran capek mikir "kok lama ya? jangan2 ini LPJnya ga diterima"

WANJAY OUR BRIGHTEST SMILE RIGHT AFTER PENCABUTAN AMANAH

congrats dayut! [itu almamater ya bukan mukena apalagi daster, kegedean bgt meunang minjem]

xilao but it's ok lah ya tim receh dan ngantuk dan jayus dan bdmt apalagi hehe maaci diqadiq!

BOARD ACUUUUU! SUKSES SELALU SHAY!

full!!!!!!!!!

Januari

Character Building dari Djarum jadi titik balik yang terima kasih menampar gue, ngingetin gimana sebenernya kekuatan gue bisa lebih lagi. bersyukur banget ini di awal tahun, mungkin kalau engga.. gue gila sendiri kali ngadepin tahun ini. terima kasih Batch 5, regu 10, semua pelatih, Cikole, dan semuanya! 

pulang dari Cikole, langsung ke Semarang saat itu. izin mendadak ke orang tua, surprisingly diizinin sama ortu gue. hasilnya.. pulang-pulang ada amanah baru. jadi Vice Director of Partnership. ehe, it almost a year.

masuk kuliah seminggu, gue langsung ke Surabaya buat Leadership Development. acara ini literally acara Djarum terakhir. sedih, jelas. gue ada di Batch 2 sama Diba, Acan, dan Bagus dari IPB. di LD tuh lebih dapet aja rasanya karena udah lebih banyak yang dikenal dan lebih sedikit orangnya. gapapa tiap hari dari jam 8 pagi sampai 10 maleman, ga tidur tapi harus nyiapin materi hari besoknya. seru banget sih parah. temen sekamar gue Anjini dari UNS dan Rayyan dari UNPAD, they were crazy; I mean this could not be as great as I felt without them. terima kasih sudah sangat mengerti gue dan ambis sarapan tiap pagi. hotelnya tuh hotel dari jaman Belanda, tebak ya seremnya kayak apa. gede banget, kamar mandinya lebih gede dari kamar kostan gue. bed gue ini extra bed jadi ada sekat gitu, sama bed mereka. gara-gara rombongan Jakarta tuh selalu telat dateng, kita dateng langsung mulai acaranya. jadi malem banget mau tidur, Anjini, Rayyan bantu narik bed gue deket mereka biar ga horor banget gitu sendirian. LD ini bener-bener di luar ekspektasi gue, yang gue dapet tuh s e b a n y a k itu dari nyiain materi tiap malem harus brainstorming ujung-ujungnya pulang larut banget ke kamar, debat, public speaking, pelatihan-pelatihan a e u i o huhuhuhuhu makin cinta sama Djarum. btw, di LD gue sebatch sama musuh-musuh yang berhasil ngepung gue pas CB wk:(

akhirnya ketemu sama National Strategic Meeting, kali ini di Lombok. lokasinya ke pantai tinggal ngesot, jadi a s u p e r b r e a t h t a k i n g m o m e n t la.

beberapa hari setelah NSM, gue langsung ke @america. sampe Kak Dicky bilang "gue heran kok lu udah di sini aja, ga cape?"

ini life savers dari jaman semester 3 sampai sekarang. kayaknya bulan Maret deh terakhir ke PH guys:( wk

April 

kayaknya selama Mei, banyak banget yang gue sempet lakuin tahun ini deh. ini waktu main ke kantor KokBisa, partner baru IAAS Indonesia mhihi huhe. asik kali ya kerja begini.

akhirnya dateng closing SMANSA DAY lagi, setelah beberapa tahun absen. janjian sama temen-temen cubaqu tentunyah, guest starsnya ada Nidji sama RAN. Asta tampan sekali, tak kuat. sayang, foto-fotonya kehapus wk sebel.

Juni

salah satu blessing gue masuk IAAS adalah gabung di External. manusia-manusia digital. ga lengkap tapi seneng banget akhirnya buka bersama masuk dalam acara yang tidak wacana.

External IOP 22

bateng tapi ga bateng lagi. (Afu - Dita - Rijka)

di puncak, bukan di kantor.

sebenernya fotonya banyak banget, tapi spot ini sangat gemayz. Abenk Alter ini salah satu sosok suami idaman ya, lagu enak; lukisannya jg ntap.

itu bungkusan nasi dari kayu loh.

September

atas : Elsy, Cila, Pak Arief bawah : Ros, Afu, Agung, Kris

abis pembinaan ke Botani bgt la ada acara IPB:")

gue juga dateng ke IYSCA, part dari Olympic. uw seneng.

NC di IYSCA tahun ini

Oktober
it gets real, doesn't it? ini foto di hari UAS terakhir. sedih gimana gitu.

ye slew jir, duit kita masih banya'

aku dimana aku

Oktober tuh selalu jadi bulan terhectic, gue sempet jadi fasilitator juga di fakultas sebelah bersama mapres, duta, dan manusia-manusia tapsoul lainnya.

jia bannernya ga keliatan.

jam 12an lewat ga sih ini?! (Afu - Wawan - Bray)

ini adalah acara terakhir yang bener-bener terakhir di Djarum pas welcoming beswan baru. tiap ngumpul sama mereka tuh seneng gitu loh karena dibalik kesengklekan itu semua, mereka ini mapres atau prestasinya tak terkira. hidupnya makan enak, rebutan makan enak, joget, gosip tapi diem-diem bau.

Beswan Djarum 32 & 33

yg dishare ini aja biar penasaran.

November

tahun ini, bulan ini paling membahagiakan karena IAAS Summit selesai dengan baik sekali, senang? tentu! makasih banyak ya semua pihak yang membantu, support, dateng, dan semuanya. I am nothing without you, guys. really.

itu efek celana ya plis, kaki gue ga segede itu.

bosen ga sih tiap foto, dayut yang di depan?! (Atas : Kak Col,, Kak Andrie, Kak Nesu, Kak Anis, Kak Yus, Kak Dins Bawah : Dayut, Afu, Kak Anggi)

kedainya sederhana banget, tapi nyenengin!

manual brew at its best, couldn't resist to see Bapak again!

di balik itu semua, ada bayaran mahal yang gue tebus yaitu ga ikut demis. wk. alhamdulillah kelar! EM juga punya nilai tertinggi HAHA makasih ya semua!

guenya ga ada. jangan dicari.

akhirnya resmi.

Desember

Alpen lagi ga ditutup salju?

nginep External di Landhuis, esensi nginep di Landhuis? wk. uuu ketemu kadept 5 tahun.

home in persons at campus.

kadiv BPH ICEF 2016 (- Yudi & Ketink yang udah mampu, ga perlu traktiran:()

 last, but not least akhirnya ketemu sayangqu since junior high school!

Gening - Afu - Maul - Dije (- Vanda, Inne)

a 21 years old girl is being questioned about what her life supposed to be. please be kind, 2018!