Kenapa?

April 04, 2018

“Kok jarang cerita sih sekarang?”
Just because I don’t tell you any story, it doesn’t mean that I have no story. Ada. Buanyak. I don’t even know am I introvert or extrovert, somehow I love being alone and much more productive when I do everything by myself, but somehow I can’t deny that meeting someone who smart and kind or maybe humorous is the way for me to be more productive (aka spur my spirits on doing something) too. Back to the first question of this post because I don’t need solutions of this kinda thing, thus I don’t have any urge to tell the story.

“Cerita aja, setidaknya relieves stress”
Ga gitu. Buat gue. Gue lebih senang cerita dengan orang yang ga gue kenal ya karena peduli setan ga kenal, abis itu dia ga bantuin gue ga masalah, dia bakal lupa dan yaudah. Itu stress relief. Atau gue cerita ke diri sendiri dan ditulis, kayak gini. Gue ga bakal punya tuntutan untuk terus cerita, ga perlu takut nantinya kalau tiba-tiba gue ditinggal. I mean everything is temporary, I don’t know am I still alive tomorrow or 5 seconds after this post is published. I don’t know are you curious about my story or backstab, or you really care about me. I don’t know. Is it better to make any space, tho? Everything that you hold tightly will only make you sick. Really.

Gue masih manusia normal kok yang kadang kalo nemu hal lucu atau amazing, gue ceritain ke orang. Certain person. I always make my stories as a puzzle, I tell to A about what I did; tell to B about what I got; tell to C about what I watched. I should make my circle smaller than ever to make me happy, perhaps. As I am getting older, I realize that I can’t make everyone in all of my circle are happy with what I do, of my presence. The thing that is also important, but I always forgot was about my happiness –comfort, when I was surrounding myself with all of them. I can’t lie to myself anymore. I am going to be 22 this year (ya. penting.) and have to be wiser on making decisions and decreasing foolishness.

Well, bye-bye.

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