Januari 31, 2017

Ye

Ini post terandom yang mungkin besok udah musnah, kalau masih ada berarti masih nangis-nangis basi. Ga mau ngepost berat, karena badan sudah berat. Nanti-nanti aja ya ngepost character building dan natconnya, nunggu kosong waktunya jadi postnya panjang seperti jalan kenangan kita bergandeng tangan.

just have you feel
like you are the one who stand last?
are you the strongest?
or maybe you are the most stupid one.

Ya gitu, aing kalo cape kan hanya bisa menangis tiba-tiba di kamar, terus besoknya enyah dari peradaban. Capenya tiba-tiba jadi nangisnya tiba-tiba juga. Ga suka curhat sama orang yang dikenal, tapi omegle banned. Ih hidup. Sebal, sudah tau tak bisa marah; hanya bisa menangis, tapi antepkeun. Ah kapan aing pinternya da kitu wae.

So, the conclusion is... am I still an extrovert one?

Januari 14, 2017

Eh?

A kind of you really need time to heal something you don't know how to call that feeling. Given you are the time that you thought you have reached the maximum; maximum of being kind and maximum of being too bad, when all you really want is to quit that phase and create space as much as you can. Can you tell the negatives when you are not being asked, or when you are not ready to hear that answers? Or are you the one who never get angry to people (for what they've done to you)? Or maybe you are the one who can't say no? You may the one who save lot of feelings, but you just lost yours.

***

she is kind,
but she meets her limit
somehow
but she keeps going

she is brave,
but she meets herself stop
somewhere
when it's too dark
to go

she smiles
for things
you may don't know
what she fights;
 and what she hides

she is though
but she will break
someday.

(a.d.)

Januari 02, 2017

2016

Let me start to re-write what make me beyond happy to let go.
2016 gave me lot of things I’ve never expected, actually.

In the beginning of 2016, I was joining Partnership IAAS Indonesia. Well, it will never enough to bless that I found this team. I can’t resist, this is my best team ever!

Then, have a blessed 20. I am such tremendously happy that 29th of June was going well, last year.

I also finished my job descriptions as well in the 59th IAAS World Congress as a Public Relation staff. After having a tough times to contact the government, connect the bureaucracy, and perceive the negatives. This should be my first and last time to be the committee. Thank you for the trust, team!

A hectic October since I had to do as secretary in ICEF 2016 (it ran for almost 10 months), Partnership team in IAAS Summit (ran for almost 7 months), and contingent for aerobic on Reds Cup. So which flavors of your God that you will deny? It came once. I never thought that I was that strong to end those up.

November is a really lovely month while I went to Semarang, became one out of 525 persons. It’s an honor for being Beswan Djarum 32. Like really.

Closed by my decision to stay in Himatesil to journey my 3rd year. I am an official Head of Event Management, now. It took persistence to stay, to decide between the three other choices.

Last, but not least. What 2016 taught is how I let go everything that made me sad and disappointed. How bless I am for having and meeting incredible persons in a year.